Effects of hormones

          Something that really... intrigued (/amused/puzzled) me throughout A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man was Stephen's obsession with the idea of some female figure appearing to him and whisking him away on a magical journey. He only really develops this idea when he's old enough to start thinking about girls sexually but once he comes up with it, it really sticks. Now, I'm not going to pretend to know how teenage boy minds work. But, I was under the impression that most adolescent boys aren't really picky about sexual attention. They have raging hormones. Stephen isn't most boys, but he's so much more specific about what he wants than I imagined a guy to be. He thinks about it at great length a lot of the time, and in a very artistic, descriptive, intellectual way. When his female figure finally "appears" to him and he has sex with the prostitute, he blows it up in his mind into this spiritual experience using a lot of flowery language. He creates all these different dimensions to the experience whereas a lot of guys might just be thinking something along the lines of "Yes, I'm having sex, this is great." Instead of thinking about sex in a very basic manner, do other teenage boys secretly have complex monologues about it inside their heads? I suppose I'll never really know what they're thinking.

Reflections

Forewarning-- this is going to be a somewhat rambly and unstructured post just because sometimes it's nice to let loose your thoughts. 

          Part of the reason I decided that the topic of this class was something I was interested in taking was because "Coming-of-Age" is something that directly applies to me at this point in my life. I am a lot more "of age" physically, mentally, emotionally, etc. than I have ever been, however there are still so many stages of my life to go and I know that I'm going to do a lot more growing up later on (I'm also growing up as I'm typing this even if it isn't noticeable). I think that Coming of Age is a continuous process. There are certain stages where it's more accelerated, and specific events that act as cornerstones, however it is definitely ongoing until you reach a plateau. This plateau comes at different ages for everyone. 

          I think this class is so important because the topic is so universally applicable and relatable. Everyone grows up. Everyone who's already grown up has gone through the process in the past. It's important to discuss the various facets throughout the different stages. Comparing different Coming of Age stories helps you to understand your own. I want to be able to analyse other people's (even if they're fictional) for the intellectual value, yes, but also to look at them in context of my own life-- what I've been through already as well as what I'll be going through in the future. I kind of wish I'd started keeping a daily journal starting when I learned to write just to be able to look back on everything that happened to me and everything that went on in my head. In a way the blogs are an insight into our current states of mind. I don't really see the internet going away any time soon and since these are on here forever we'll be able to look back on them when we're older. 

The end is a new beginning

          Yesterday in class we were talking about the ending of The Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man. Stephen decides to "exile himself" from Ireland, and pursue a career of artistry (not the best way to put it because the word career seems to have a focus on making a living, while Stephen is doing it solely for the art, however I'm not sure how else to phrase it). However, Stephen never fully explains his decision to leave. I'm usually not one to enjoy ambiguous endings. Sure, I can make up what happens, but I'll never know for sure if it's accurate. I like to know what happens to the characters that I've become so close with. But in Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man, I think it works that Stephen's actions aren't fully explained. It makes him seem more complex and mysterious, which goes with the entire theme of his becoming an artist. And, speculating on his motives gives you a lot more to think about (even though the novel as a whole already provides a plethora of thinking material).
          I commented in class that one of the reasons Stephen left was to get out of or escape his memories, and I want to discuss that a little more. If you're in the same place where you've spent you whole life (I have personal experience with this having never lived anywhere outside of Chambana), then you're kind of stuck in your memories. You see the same buildings, the same houses, the same people every day. Each familiar person, place, or thing is weighted with memories that you are constantly reminded of when you see them. It definitely ties you down and makes it impossible for any kind of fresh start which is kind of what Stephen is looking for. He needs to be taken out of that familiar environment, and remove himself from his homeland so that he gets a new perspective on his life and has an objective view of his past. This new view will allow him to better use his past experiences for his art.