Mothers

          During the summer while Esther is living at home/at the asylum, she has a strong hatred of her mother and is unable to stand being around her. While there are many reasons that Esther's mother makes her uncomfortable, and we can't really categorize this dislike as "irrational," I too experience an irrational dislike of my mother from time to time. Now, of course my annoyances aren't really comparable to Esther's, because we are in completely different situations and we are on completely different levels. 

          Esther's mother does not understand the concept of mental illness whatsoever. She thinks Esther can just "choose" to get better and doesn't understand that there are actual chemical imbalances inside the brain and Esther cannot control how she's feeling. This is one example of a compilation of things that makes Esther fed up with her mother. 

          Something I could relate to Esther with was when she got mad about her mom getting her flowers. It's her birthday, her mom brings her flowers, Esther is very skeptical, and her mother reminds her that they're it's her birthday and Esther is kind of furious. Of course it is a nice gesture on her mother's part, with good intentions, but someone trying to be nice to you when you don't want them to be and you're already upset with them can be pretty annoying. 

          The other day, I came home to my mom cleaning my room after an extremely rough week. I was very annoyed. She hadn't given me any warning or anything, and I didn't want my room cleaned by her. I was pretty rude and passive aggressive about it, and later my sister told me how sad I'd made my mom so I talked to her about it. She thought that cleaning my room would help to alleviate some of my stress, which was really nice of her, but I just really didn't want her trying to do anything for me. 

"boys will be boys"

          It seems like ages ago that we discussed this scene in The Bell Jar, but it was one that definitely stuck in my mind. 

          The scene to which I'm referring is the one where Doreen takes Esther to a party and Esther leaves her there. When first reading this, it honestly made me angry. I was very worried for Doreen. If you go somewhere with your friend that has a possibility of being unsafe, and she literally tells you to watch her back, you cannot leave her in a possibly dangerous situation no matter how uncomfortable you are, no matter what she has done or how irresponsible she has been. You're allowed to be angry, or upset, or whatever, but you can't just leave her vulnerable to something bad happening. You don't have to be an experienced party-goer to figure this out. Even though Esther is very naive, it only takes someone of a basic intelligence level to figure out that you can't leave your friend. 

          I think part of the reason I reacted so strongly to this was because of my own personal experiences, as well as the high level of education I've had about these types of situations. However after having finished the book and gotten more context for Esther's situation, reflecting back on the scene I have a little more sympathy for her. While I still don't agree with her lack of consideration for Doreen, I understand that depression, even beginning stages of it, doesn't leave you in a place to be super sympathetic to others, and you have no control over it. Also, people in the '50s were not educated about safety or situations with potential for sexual harassment or any other kind of danger. There wasn't a huge awareness of it, and in a male-dominated society there was a lot of victim blaming. Most people, including some women, had a very strong "boys will be boys" mindset. This, combined with Esther's additional naivete, provides a lot of reason for her not to realize how grave the situation could become for Doreen.