Memories

          Sag Harbor has reminded me to some degree of some of my childhood experiences. Up until a couple years ago, my family and I had a lake house on Lake Sara, near Effingham, IL. My grandparents were really the ones who owed it, but the entire family used it. We'd have the whole family down sometimes, and just parts of it other times. We also invited a lot of family friends to come down. There was a boat my grandpa, dad or uncle would take us out in, which we used to waterski and go tubing. We always tried to find interesting animals to keep as temporary pets-- frogs, toads, turtles, you name it. And, of course, our dog would accompany us.
          Obviously, Sag Harbor and Lake Sara are very different places, and my experience with my lakehouse is very different from the experience that Benji had with his beach house. But, I still somehow drew a connection and it got me thinking about the different perspective you have when you're looking back on experiences. Ben doesn't seem to be reminiscing necessarily when he's telling us about his past. He may seem somewhat nostalgic about Sag Harbor itself, but he recalls actions and events with almost a sense of bafflement-- he can't really explain why he did some things he did, he's just telling it like it happened. This, of course, differs greatly from Benji. When he's living through this summer in Sag Harbor, he's very wrapped up in what's going on and it's a critical period of time for him as we see him start to grow up.
          Almost in reverse of Benji, there was a period in my childhood when I started to dread going to Lake Sara. The house was getting older, and had some mildew problems since it was on a lake. I think part of this was that I was slightly older, so I was "too cool" for family activities and didn't enjoy the same things I did as a younger child. Now, being 18, I look back on all those memories with almost an idyllic fondness. I remember that I did, at one point, dislike Lake Sara for one reason or another, but that doesn't stop me from thinking about the days when we had the house as being some sort of "golden age" in my life. A lot of this probably comes from knowing what happens next. Knowing that my grandpa will pass away and that the house will fall into such disrepair that we'll have to sell it to someone who's going to tear it down, knowing that my childhood will be ending before I know it and that growing up isn't all it's cracked up to be, etc.
          It's just interesting to see the comparison-- how Benji was very into the beach house thing while he was living it, but then looked back on those times with confusion and bafflement, while I didn't enjoy the lake house at the time but now wish I could go back and relive those memories.